Qantas Flight QF 93, Trans-Pacific
Mmmmm... airplane food. After a dozen hours crammed in like a sardine, I was looking forward to any breakfast. Even this. And despite looking rather sad, it was quite edible, if a little difficult to eat. You just need to take turns using your elbows. And carefully time each forkful of scrambled egg so that it makes the journey to your mouth without incident. Turbulence is a bitch.
Porgie + Mr Jones, Hawthorn
Melbourne's best scrambled eggs? Mr Jones' scrambles with Holy Goat cheese is certainly a contender, with soft, light folds of "happy" free range eggs dotted with silky chunks of goat's curd. The scrambling technique is so light touch that this dish pushes the boundary between scrambles and omelette. Maybe they should call it a scromelette? Maybe not. Either way, it's a must-try breakfast when you visit Porgie + Mr Jones, 291 Auburn Road, Hawthorn, Tel +61 3 9882 2966.
There has already been much raving about P+MJ (as they like to call themselves), with kate and zoe even proclaiming the place Melbourne's best cafe. I don't know if I'd go that far, but it certainly deserves A-list status. The only weak links I can think of are service and coffee, which are merely good, not great.
Food-wise, they didn't put a foot wrong. The poached eggs were excellent. Ditto the thyme-buttered mushies and smashed avocado. There were loud squeals of protest when I tried to steal a taste of the ham, cheese and tomato croissant off the plate of a 2-year-old. And at $4.90, I very nearly ordered a McPorgie chaser: a toasted english muffin stuffed with gypsy ham and "creamy dreamy" scrambles.
Sweet tooths are also well-served: toasted banana bread with maple syrup marscapone, fresh banana, berry compote and crushed pistachios ($12.90); Carmen's bircher muesli with cinnamon poached pear and honeyed yoghurt ($9.90); toasted Noisette fruit bread ($6); and croissants with Bonne Maman jam ($5.50).
And all served in the buzzy surrounds of a designer, recycled, pseudo-industrial fitout. Like a tiny oasis of Fitzroy in the suburbs.
18/20 "silky scrambles"
There has already been much raving about P+MJ (as they like to call themselves), with kate and zoe even proclaiming the place Melbourne's best cafe. I don't know if I'd go that far, but it certainly deserves A-list status. The only weak links I can think of are service and coffee, which are merely good, not great.
Food-wise, they didn't put a foot wrong. The poached eggs were excellent. Ditto the thyme-buttered mushies and smashed avocado. There were loud squeals of protest when I tried to steal a taste of the ham, cheese and tomato croissant off the plate of a 2-year-old. And at $4.90, I very nearly ordered a McPorgie chaser: a toasted english muffin stuffed with gypsy ham and "creamy dreamy" scrambles.
Sweet tooths are also well-served: toasted banana bread with maple syrup marscapone, fresh banana, berry compote and crushed pistachios ($12.90); Carmen's bircher muesli with cinnamon poached pear and honeyed yoghurt ($9.90); toasted Noisette fruit bread ($6); and croissants with Bonne Maman jam ($5.50).
And all served in the buzzy surrounds of a designer, recycled, pseudo-industrial fitout. Like a tiny oasis of Fitzroy in the suburbs.
18/20 "silky scrambles"
Blond Coffee, Angaston
After three hours of wine tasting, some excellent St Hallett shiraz, quite a few nips of port, not much spitting and too much swallowing, I could feel the dreaded day-drinker's hangover creeping up on me. I had to take defensive measures. I needed to pull out the big guns. I needed eggs benedict. But it was 2:30pm in the Barossa Valley. And all-day breakfast is a big city thing. Or so I thought. Until we stumbled upon Blond Coffee, 60 Murray Street, Angaston, South Australia, Tel +61 8 8564 3444. They served eggs benny till 3 pm. I was saved.
And a very respectable eggs benny it was, too. The free-range eggs had a great deep yellow colour and were poached to perfection. The ham was tasty. The hollandaise was good (but needed more zing). And there was a nice little splodge of sauteed spinach on the side.
The eggs and bacon sandwich was, according to Ron, equally impressive (and I know better than to argue with the in-laws). Two super-thick slabs of white bread, stuffed with scrambled egg, bacon (from local Barossa butcher Schultz's), cheese and tomato, all squished down in a sandwich press and toasted golden brown.
Despite the name, the staff at Blond are not all blondes, although there was a very high concentration of attractive young women. And friendly young women, too. When I asked for a sample of the bircher muesli, they even when to the trouble of garnishing it with a touch of yoghurt and a drizzle of honey.
16/20 "barossa benedict"
And a very respectable eggs benny it was, too. The free-range eggs had a great deep yellow colour and were poached to perfection. The ham was tasty. The hollandaise was good (but needed more zing). And there was a nice little splodge of sauteed spinach on the side.
The eggs and bacon sandwich was, according to Ron, equally impressive (and I know better than to argue with the in-laws). Two super-thick slabs of white bread, stuffed with scrambled egg, bacon (from local Barossa butcher Schultz's), cheese and tomato, all squished down in a sandwich press and toasted golden brown.
Despite the name, the staff at Blond are not all blondes, although there was a very high concentration of attractive young women. And friendly young women, too. When I asked for a sample of the bircher muesli, they even when to the trouble of garnishing it with a touch of yoghurt and a drizzle of honey.
16/20 "barossa benedict"
Almost French, Richmond
A baguette is very French. A scrambled egg and bacon roll is not very French. So I guess it makes sense to describe a scrambled egg and bacon baguette as almost French. And it was an obvious choice for breakfast at Almost French, 138 Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9429 2080. Très très yummy.
The quality of the baguette made all the difference to this take-away breakfast. Light and crispy on the outside. Soft, fresh and ever so slightly chewy on the inside. And stuffed with scrambled eggs and a generous amount of crispy bacon through a slit along the spine. I was a little concerned that their re-heating technique might ruin everything (part microwave, part toaster-oven), but it worked just fine.
More bakery than cafe, there are, nonetheless, a handful of small cafe tables for dining in, from which you can admire the handiwork of local celebrity Mirka Mora. You might even get a chance to admire Mirka herself. She popped in for some bread while I was there.
The quality of the baguette made all the difference to this take-away breakfast. Light and crispy on the outside. Soft, fresh and ever so slightly chewy on the inside. And stuffed with scrambled eggs and a generous amount of crispy bacon through a slit along the spine. I was a little concerned that their re-heating technique might ruin everything (part microwave, part toaster-oven), but it worked just fine.
More bakery than cafe, there are, nonetheless, a handful of small cafe tables for dining in, from which you can admire the handiwork of local celebrity Mirka Mora. You might even get a chance to admire Mirka herself. She popped in for some bread while I was there.
Pearl Cafe, Richmond
Make no mistake. I am a greedy pig. So things are pretty bad when I put the fork down half-way through my eggs. But that's exactly what happened this morning at Pearl Cafe, 599 Church Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9427 1307. What a train wreck.
The original Pearl turned coddled eggs into an art form. Pearl Cafe turned out coddled eggs that made my stomach churn. First, they wheel out a dish that it absolutely swimming in raw egg white. Not coddled. Not lightly cooked. Raw. After a short discussion with my waiter we agree that coddled eggs are not supposed to be raw, so they are sent back for a bit more coddling, or so I think. A while later I am presented with a plate of hard, rubbery eggs, the remnants of which are pictured above. Let's not molly-coddle these people. It was disgusting.
Normally, the combination of mushrooms, double-smoked bacon, sage and burnt butter is a winner. Somehow, this dish kills the magic. The mushrooms were wet and bland, not buttery and tasty. The bacon was wet and limp. The toasted multi-grain was dry and butter-less. And the sage was nowhere to be found.
But it's not all bad. If you go to Pearl and order the muesli, or one of the bacon, egg, lettuce and tomato panini, you will be very happy. The french toasted peach sandwhich with vanilla marscapone might also be good. And the venue is slick, if a little noisy, with cute touches like Japanese Geisha salt and pepper mills.
Just avoid the coddled eggs.
13/20 "stick to the muesli"
The original Pearl turned coddled eggs into an art form. Pearl Cafe turned out coddled eggs that made my stomach churn. First, they wheel out a dish that it absolutely swimming in raw egg white. Not coddled. Not lightly cooked. Raw. After a short discussion with my waiter we agree that coddled eggs are not supposed to be raw, so they are sent back for a bit more coddling, or so I think. A while later I am presented with a plate of hard, rubbery eggs, the remnants of which are pictured above. Let's not molly-coddle these people. It was disgusting.
Normally, the combination of mushrooms, double-smoked bacon, sage and burnt butter is a winner. Somehow, this dish kills the magic. The mushrooms were wet and bland, not buttery and tasty. The bacon was wet and limp. The toasted multi-grain was dry and butter-less. And the sage was nowhere to be found.
But it's not all bad. If you go to Pearl and order the muesli, or one of the bacon, egg, lettuce and tomato panini, you will be very happy. The french toasted peach sandwhich with vanilla marscapone might also be good. And the venue is slick, if a little noisy, with cute touches like Japanese Geisha salt and pepper mills.
Just avoid the coddled eggs.
13/20 "stick to the muesli"
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