Cheeky Monkey, Richmond

When you tear a hamstring, does eating bacon speed your recovery? If so, maybe Ben Cousins should start each day with a big serve of bacon and eggs at Cheeky Monkey, 89a Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9428 8833. It's not the best breakfast in Tigerland, but they do give you plenty of bacon.



Then again, maybe Swan Street isn't the best place for a recovering drug addict to be starting each day. There were junkies lying in the streets when I was there. OK, there was one junkie. But he was lying in the street. And "Cousins hangs with Junkies" is not the kind of headline Ben needs right now. Not with "good friends" like Fat Ange Venditti fuelling the media flames.

Despite being a cool-looking venue, with a graffiti-style stencil mural of monkeys all over the exterior walls, Cheeky Monkey was a bit of a disappointment. My scrambled eggs, bacon and mushrooms were OK, but why are they using boring white toast when Almost French is baking excellent sourdough right across the road? And cheddar-toasted muffins with eggs, bacon and hollandaise ($14.90) might have been a winner, but for the addition of crispy onion rings and a drizzle of BBQ sauce over the hollandaise. Weird. Even the chive crepes topped with poached egg, smoked salmon, sliced avocado and dill hollandaise ($15.90) sounded better than it looked.

Maybe they do a better job with the jumbo corn fritters, the hotcake stack, or the coconut and banana bread?

The coffee, at least, was good.

15/20 "bacon"

Highland Kitchen, Somerville

Readers of The Tipping Point will recall the claim that a small bunch of super-influencial East-Village hipster-trendoids started wearing Hush Puppies and, hey presto, they were tranformed into must-wear footwear for the masses. Which begs the question: if the cool kids start eating hush puppies for breakfast, will they trigger the breakfast food fad of 2009? To find out, I urge all foodie fashionistas to get on down to Highland Kitchen, 150 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA, Tel +1 (617) 625-1131, and order a side of deep-fried pups.



Not everyone agrees with Malcolm Gladwell mind you. Duncan Watts reckons the super-influencer theory is toast, and that mere mortals are just as likely to trigger a fashion epidemic. What matters is whether the world is ready for deep fried corn bread. If the food is right, any idiot could trigger an outbreak. Even me.

So, all you need to decide is what to have with your hush puppies. I couldn't resist the chicken liver omelette. Tasty chicken livers, fried up with chunks of bacon and smothered in real cheddar cheese (not the plastic American cheese you find in diners, etc). A bit too rich and heavy, but very enjoyable nonetheless.

Other options include: smoked trout and bacon hash, or smoked pork hash, each served with 2 fried eggs and collard greens; shrimp and grits with smoked bacon, mushrooms and collard greens; buttermilk pancakes; organic granola; Iggy's plain or chocolate croissants; and, of course, biscuits with sausage gravy.

Most breakfasts are under $10, the coffee and services is good, and the venue has a warm buzz.

15/20 "chicken liver omelette"

Lava, St Kilda East

Last night, having snatched once more at the ring of power, Howard fell like Gollum into the lava of political death. So it seems only fitting to be writing about my breakfast at Lava, 219 Carlisle Street, East St Kilda, Tel +61 3 9527 2205. You can almost smell it. Howard, and all his pork, going down in flames. Mmmm... crispy bacon. Makes me hungry.



Lava's bacon, while not especially crispy, was good enough, especially when combined with a chunk of avocado and some sauteed mushrooms. Rounded out with a large serve of scrambled eggs, the "Lava breakfast" was very satisfying. A Snickers breakfast, if you like. You won't leave this place hungry.

Perched on the corner of a large communal table (very handy for reading the newspapers and checking out what others are eating), I eye-balled at least a couple of tasty offerings. The potato rosti, for example, is actually eggs florentine (poached with spinach and hollandaise) served on a rosti rather than muffins. The gluten-free crowd should love it. Or, for vegans, they offer house-made Lava beans served with feta on toast. Both looked good. If these don't float your boat, there are many other choices on the menu: muffins, croissants, banana bread, muesli, pancakes, porridge, omelettes (with or without yolks) and more.

In case you missed it, the quote of election night has to go to Kerry O'Brien, reflecting on the McKew-Howard battle for Bennelong: "It looks like a 5% swing to the ABC..."

15/20 "rosti florentine"



Eggs & Bacon $10.60 BB100 +6%

Lumiere, Surry Hills

Even personal trainers have PR consultants in Sydney, as I discovered during breakfast at Lumiere, Shop 13, 425 Bourke Street, Surry Hills, Tel +61 2 9331 6184. Such are the joys of breakfasting alone. You get to hear some of the funniest things.



I was planning to have breakfast at a place called Sage, to which the SMH gave a glowing review, and which has a very snazzy website. Problem was, the joint is closed. Gone. So I went to Lumiere instead.

Not that I'm complaining. My poached eggs with spinach, prosciutto and hollandaise was very good. I still prefer ham or bacon with my eggs, but at least they used good quality prosciutto. And the hollandaise was excellent.

Nice menu, too. Four fancy omelettes: roasted tomato and caramelised onion; ocean trout, creme fraiche and dill; haloumi and wilted spinach; or mushrooms, chorizo, chives and parmesan. House made toasted muesli with nuts, seeds, baked rhubarb and yoghurt. Eggs benny with smoked trout. And ricotta hotcakes with sour cherries, honeycomb and marscapone (an interesting twist on the Bills version).

15/20 "fancy omelettes"



Eggs & Bacon $12.00 BB100 +20%