Book Talk, Richmond

Part book store, part cafe, an abundance of fried meat...

Demitri's Feast, Richmond

Growing up in 70s Melbourne, my sponge-like mind was drenched in a singular image of Greek food: the souvlaki. So it was quite a shock to my culinary foundations to be sitting down for a Greek-inspired breakfast at Demitri's Feast, 141 Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9428 8659. Can you eat souvlaki for breakfast? If Mark Philippousis went on MasterChef and cooked Cougar-glazed French toast with ouzo foam, would George Calombaris call it Greek toast? Is Nana Mouskouri the original cougar?



You can make up your own mind about Nana. And we can all hope that the Scud stays out of the kitchen. Because when it comes to Greek toast, it's hard to imagine anything better than the Baclava French Toast at Demitri's Feast. Take a big fat slice of fresh Tsoureki. Dip in egg and fry till golden brown. Drizzle with yoghurt and orange-honey syrup. Sprinkle with blitzed walnuts and serve. Delicious.

The rest of the menu is similarly sprinkled with Greek twists. Like ouzo-and-dill-cured salmon served with poached eggs and spinach; omeletta with lokaniko sausage, potatoes and kefalograviera cheese; and semolina pancakes with thick Greek yoghurt, rose jam, pistachios and more of the aforementioned orange-honey syrup. In some cases, there may be just a hint of Greece, in the form of goat's feta added to creamy scrambled eggs, or manouri cheese added to sage mushrooms.



The only thing missing was a breakfast souvlaki. For that, apparently, you need to go Hellenic Republic. Tell them a food blogger sent you. George hates food bloggers.

17/20 "tsoureki is the new brioche"

Almost French, Richmond

A baguette is very French. A scrambled egg and bacon roll is not very French. So I guess it makes sense to describe a scrambled egg and bacon baguette as almost French. And it was an obvious choice for breakfast at Almost French, 138 Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9429 2080. Très très yummy.



The quality of the baguette made all the difference to this take-away breakfast. Light and crispy on the outside. Soft, fresh and ever so slightly chewy on the inside. And stuffed with scrambled eggs and a generous amount of crispy bacon through a slit along the spine. I was a little concerned that their re-heating technique might ruin everything (part microwave, part toaster-oven), but it worked just fine.

More bakery than cafe, there are, nonetheless, a handful of small cafe tables for dining in, from which you can admire the handiwork of local celebrity Mirka Mora. You might even get a chance to admire Mirka herself. She popped in for some bread while I was there.

Pearl Cafe, Richmond

Make no mistake. I am a greedy pig. So things are pretty bad when I put the fork down half-way through my eggs. But that's exactly what happened this morning at Pearl Cafe, 599 Church Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9427 1307. What a train wreck.



The original Pearl turned coddled eggs into an art form. Pearl Cafe turned out coddled eggs that made my stomach churn. First, they wheel out a dish that it absolutely swimming in raw egg white. Not coddled. Not lightly cooked. Raw. After a short discussion with my waiter we agree that coddled eggs are not supposed to be raw, so they are sent back for a bit more coddling, or so I think. A while later I am presented with a plate of hard, rubbery eggs, the remnants of which are pictured above. Let's not molly-coddle these people. It was disgusting.

Normally, the combination of mushrooms, double-smoked bacon, sage and burnt butter is a winner. Somehow, this dish kills the magic. The mushrooms were wet and bland, not buttery and tasty. The bacon was wet and limp. The toasted multi-grain was dry and butter-less. And the sage was nowhere to be found.

But it's not all bad. If you go to Pearl and order the muesli, or one of the bacon, egg, lettuce and tomato panini, you will be very happy. The french toasted peach sandwhich with vanilla marscapone might also be good. And the venue is slick, if a little noisy, with cute touches like Japanese Geisha salt and pepper mills.

Just avoid the coddled eggs.

13/20 "stick to the muesli"

Cheeky Monkey, Richmond

When you tear a hamstring, does eating bacon speed your recovery? If so, maybe Ben Cousins should start each day with a big serve of bacon and eggs at Cheeky Monkey, 89a Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9428 8833. It's not the best breakfast in Tigerland, but they do give you plenty of bacon.



Then again, maybe Swan Street isn't the best place for a recovering drug addict to be starting each day. There were junkies lying in the streets when I was there. OK, there was one junkie. But he was lying in the street. And "Cousins hangs with Junkies" is not the kind of headline Ben needs right now. Not with "good friends" like Fat Ange Venditti fuelling the media flames.

Despite being a cool-looking venue, with a graffiti-style stencil mural of monkeys all over the exterior walls, Cheeky Monkey was a bit of a disappointment. My scrambled eggs, bacon and mushrooms were OK, but why are they using boring white toast when Almost French is baking excellent sourdough right across the road? And cheddar-toasted muffins with eggs, bacon and hollandaise ($14.90) might have been a winner, but for the addition of crispy onion rings and a drizzle of BBQ sauce over the hollandaise. Weird. Even the chive crepes topped with poached egg, smoked salmon, sliced avocado and dill hollandaise ($15.90) sounded better than it looked.

Maybe they do a better job with the jumbo corn fritters, the hotcake stack, or the coconut and banana bread?

The coffee, at least, was good.

15/20 "bacon"

Richmond Hill Cafe and Larder

Well it must be said that RHCL is much better than I remember from previous visits. Best of all, they serve an excellent house-made sausage and buttered spinach. Pretty good scrambles, too...