Bills Scrambled Eggs Really Are That Good

Some things are over-hyped. Like Facebook. Kylie's bum. And the Toyota Prius. But Bills scrambled eggs really are the best you will ever have. Anywhere. In the world. Or the Galaxy. Or the entire Universe. So silky. So light. So creamy. So good.



At one point, Mr Bills himself came flouncing through the restaurant, and I was almost tempted to bow down and indenture myself as his life-long slave. But then I tasted the crappy bacon. How can such fine eggs be served with such pathetic, soggy little parcels of bacon? Shame, shame, shame...

Lava, St Kilda East

Last night, having snatched once more at the ring of power, Howard fell like Gollum into the lava of political death. So it seems only fitting to be writing about my breakfast at Lava, 219 Carlisle Street, East St Kilda, Tel +61 3 9527 2205. You can almost smell it. Howard, and all his pork, going down in flames. Mmmm... crispy bacon. Makes me hungry.



Lava's bacon, while not especially crispy, was good enough, especially when combined with a chunk of avocado and some sauteed mushrooms. Rounded out with a large serve of scrambled eggs, the "Lava breakfast" was very satisfying. A Snickers breakfast, if you like. You won't leave this place hungry.

Perched on the corner of a large communal table (very handy for reading the newspapers and checking out what others are eating), I eye-balled at least a couple of tasty offerings. The potato rosti, for example, is actually eggs florentine (poached with spinach and hollandaise) served on a rosti rather than muffins. The gluten-free crowd should love it. Or, for vegans, they offer house-made Lava beans served with feta on toast. Both looked good. If these don't float your boat, there are many other choices on the menu: muffins, croissants, banana bread, muesli, pancakes, porridge, omelettes (with or without yolks) and more.

In case you missed it, the quote of election night has to go to Kerry O'Brien, reflecting on the McKew-Howard battle for Bennelong: "It looks like a 5% swing to the ABC..."

15/20 "rosti florentine"



Eggs & Bacon $10.60 BB100 +6%

Enni, Thornbury

At least a couple of people have tipped me off to the baked beans at Enni, 915 High Street, Thornbury, Tel +61 3 9484 8288. Unlike the crappy beans you might use to pelt the paparazzi, these are fancy house-baked beans, with a nice light tomato sauce. Not better than Babka, but very good nonetheless.



The corn pancakes were also good, although I prefer fritters with a high corn-count. They serve them with bacon, tomato, a poached egg and a splodge of tomato and capsicum chutney.

If you're on a budget (and let's face it, working families are doing it tough... just ask Kev), Enni offers some tasty $7 options: two eggs on sourdough toast; creamy oat porridge with berry compote and white chocolate chunks; or Bircher muesli with yoghurt, sultanas, dried apricots, honey, roasted almonds and grated apple. Yum yum yum.

14/20 "beanz meanz..."



Eggs & Bacon $9.50 BB100 -5%

Caffe Veloce, South Yarra

Next time you're shopping for a new Maserati, fuel up at Caffe Veloce, 9-11 Claremont Street, South Yarra, Tel +61 3 8080 9995. Conveniently located in the middle of Dutton's ultra-luxury-tosser car showroom, Veloce allows you to stare at fancy cars as you eat breakfast. Actually, I think it's all pre-loved cars at Duttons, so you should really only come here for an old Maserati. No Gran Turismo's here, unfortunately.



Breakfast options are simple but good. Eggs are either scrambled or poached ($12-14), the latter served with a delicious, buttery sauteed spinach, tasty bacon, and Baker D. Chirico sourdough toast. No complaints about the quality of the eggs, but one was hard-poached.

An interesting lighter option is the biancomangiare (a "yoghurt terrine"), served with "mint coulis" and strawberries ($8). This was excellent.

Veloce's edge, however, is that they have their own pastry chefs slaving away in the basement. So, you can drop in for a coffee (a very good signature blend of Di Lorenzo) and scoff down a few house-made custard bombaloni or rip into some excellent fritella (doughnut-like frisbee's sprinkled with sugar).

Finally, in the interests of full disclosure, Veloce is where I lost my virginity. I was given a free sampling of various dishes at a launch thing hosted by the boss, Mauro Marcucci (of Caffe e Cucina fame, yadda yadda yadda). I did, however, go back on the sly (paying for my own breakfast), and the two experiences were not wildly different.

16/20 "uova in camicia"

At least The Guardian doesn't hate blogs

Unlike other blog-hating parts of the dead-tree media, The Guardian seems to like blogs. So much so that they've done a blog by blog guide to Melbourne for the travel section, including three edible/drinkable blogs, namely the Breakfast Blog, Tomato and the Melbourne Coffee Review.