Boulette's Larder, San Francisco

Inside tables are very thin on the ground at Boulette's Larder, 1 Ferry Building Marketplace, San Francisco, Tel +1 415 399 1155. Actually, there's only one. So, don't just rock up and expect to get a seat.



If you do manage to score a seat, and you're fully vested in Google or Apple stock (it's not cheap), you will be treated to some very fine food at Boulette's. Wanky food. But still very good.

The poached eggs with "early fall vegetable gratin" was delicious. Two nicely poached eggs perched atop a bed of squash, pumpkin, parsnip and romanesque (which looks like the mutant love-child of broccoli and cauliflower). A generous drizzle of bechamel gave the dish a creamy richeness which I liked (but others didn't).

I also liked the scrambled eggs with diced Vande Rose prosciutto...

Rose's Cafe, San Francisco

They serve a very impressive chicken and tarragon sausage at Rose's Cafe, 2298 Union at Steiner, Cow Hollow, San Francisco, Tel +1 415 775 2200.

Coco's Bakery Restaurant, Los Angeles

I doubt I will ever have a more evil, diabetes-inducing breakfast ever again. Take a sweet and sticky cinnamon roll, slice it up and dip it in egg, fry till golden brown, smother in butter and maple syrup, then serve with scrambled eggs and applewood smoked bacon. Just another morning meal at Coco's, 12582 Valley View Street, Garden Grove, CA, Tel +1 714 898 9719.



Evil, maybe. But strangely delicious. Especially the cinnamon roll french toast. The only weak link was the "regular" coffee, which was bland and weak, in keeping with US diner tradition.

Jack in the Box, Los Angeles

This particular Jack-in-the-Box breakfast dish was called the "Ultimate Sausage" breakfast sandwich. But I'm struggling to see how this could be the ultimate in sausages. Perhaps they mean "ultimate" in the sense that "this is the last sausage you will ever eat..." or ever want to eat? It's so bad, it will put you off sausages for life.



Actually, that's a bit harsh. It was no worse than a Macca's sausage patty. And I did eat it all. In fact, it went very well with the fluffy buns and stick-to-your-teeth plastic cheese. But I can think of many more enjoyable ways to consume that many calories (570 calories per serve, apparently).

Yale Club, New York

"Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine... That whole Yale thing."

Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Just in case you're wondering, I'm not into that whole Yale thing. Unlike Bush, Bush, Clinton, Clinton and Ford, I was a mere guest at The Yale Club, 50 Vanderbilt Avenue, New York City, +1 212 716 2100. No coke thanks. Just a plate of your finest eggs benedict please.

Supper, New York

Don't be put off by the name. They serve an excellent breakfast at Supper, 156 2nd Steet, between Avenues A and B, New York, +1 212 477 7600...

Boat House, New York

The Boathouse is a very spiffing venue, perched on the edge of Central Park Lake, at East 72nd Street and Park Drive North, New York, Tel +1 212 517 2233...

Hilton, Boston Logan Airport

It's always a nice surprise when a hotel breakfast isn't disgusting. Especially when there's lobster involved...

Johnny's, Newton, MA

Johnny's... "Where the folks get their yolks"

Beverly Yacht Club, Marion MA

One of the great benefits of dining at a yacht club is that you can ditch the car and take the boat. And so it was that we piled into the Boston Whaler and motored across for brunch at the Beverly Yacht Club, Marion, Massachusetts...

Kooroora Kitchen, Mt Buller

Assuming you don't get run over by a sugar-mommy in a Porsche Cayenne on the way there, they serve a half-decent breakfast at The Kooroora Kitchen, Village Square, Mt Buller, Tel +61 3 5777 6712. Which is quite a surprise really, since most snow-food is about half as good and twice as expensive as what you get back in the big smoke.



It wasn't the best breakfast I've had, but the scrambles were nice and creamy, the bacon and mushrooms were good, and toast and beans were fine. The disappointment was the coffee, which was OK, but only just.

Other food options are limited (pancakes, croissants, toast and porridge); the venue is relaxed and basic (it's a grungy bar by night); and the service is fine (except that you need to place your order at the counter).

You won't find too many sugar-mommies inside the Kooroora. It's more of a shredder kind of place, where you go to sink piss and brag about how you rode fakie into a backside 360 before sticking a cab 540 under the Grimus triple chair. Or something like that.

12/20 "snow job"